Jeremiah Bowdley: A History

Jeremiah Bowdley was the world’s first, and last, aerobus conductor. Flying was his passion; he handed out aerobus tickets with the kind of manic glee usually only found on the faces of chocolate tasters and those fortunate people who receive a theme park for their birthday.

The 3:35 from Ipswich to Rome was the invention of the scientific pioneer Dudley Chadwick, who decided that he was tired of the conventional bus service and endeavoured to create a new and better way of travel. And thus the aerobus was born.

When Jeremiah heard of Chadwick and his invention, he abandoned his dream of becoming the conductor on his current bus, the 11:19 from Ipswich to Jaipur (as he was only the driver at that time), and applied for the job of conductor on the 3:35.

He got the job, and along with Badgers McGee, the newly appointed driver, took to the skies in a red and white beauty, sunlight glistening off the polished hubcaps, and wind whistling through the rigging (an aesthetic addition on the part of the creator who had never forgotten his childhood ambition of piracy). Jeremiah was truly happy.

Regrettably, this new-found bliss was rather short-lived. Just a month into his tenure as conductor, yet a month which afforded many stories to tell, his beloved wife, Adrienne, died from an overenthusiastic love-bite performed upon her by her husband. For a time after her death, Jeremiah found solace in the arms of the Nanny Olive, but when she tripped over a tumour and died, he believed he could live no longer.

On the afternoon of the Scientific Awards 1877, the only aerobus in being had taken a detour and was on the journey of its existence – taking its creator, Dudley Chadwick, to the Awards to collect the award for ‘Best Flying Contraption of the Year’ – when tragedy struck. As they were passing over the bingo hall where Jeremiah’s most recent lover’s ashes were scattered, the grieving conductor wrested the wheel from Badgers McGee and plunged the aerobus into a downwards spiral, crashing into the final resting place of the Nanny Olive. All three people on board died.

No aerobus was ever made again, as Chadwick had kept all his measurements and designs inside his mind, never writing them down on paper. And so, Jeremiah Bowdley went down in history as the world’s first, and last, aerobus conductor.