"i kinda like you. please like me back."

My God. I just stopped typing because I was distracted by the thought of your smile. That's a bit... Well. Oh dear. Fuck, I'm pathetic.

Dear God, but it is a gorgeous smile.

Fuck, I'm Hungry

I haven't eaten properly for days. And I'm feeling too lazy to go to Sainsbury's and stock up. I will have to do that after Maths, as well as do my washing and cook a pasta bake to sustain me for a while. I'm going to go and cook tortellini RIGHT NOW because my stomach has been angry at me all day.

I also need to go to training more than freaking once a week after exams. I should go to all of them, though probably not the Saturday morning session. Too much!

Cinemaaaaa

Yesterday evening I went to the cinema with the Kempo folks. I met Josh outside Hartley and we walked down to the interchange to meet Owen, because we had no idea where Cineworld was. I'm really glad I'm doing more with them, like movie nights and actually going to the pub after training, because although I'm pretty sure I'm The One Nobody Wants To Get Lumped With in training, they're still all very nice and funny and like the same sorts of things and don't make me feel inadequate. (Well, apart from Dimitris. He talks to me but he makes it pretty clear that he gets incredibly frustrated with me when I can't do a technique and will avoid being partnered with me at all costs.)

Anyway, we got on the bus and it took about half an hour to get down to the green just across the road from the entrance to Dock Gate 4. Very nice bus journey, with good conversation. Lots of movie talk, and they discovered that I haven't seen Alien so there are plans for a rectifying movie night. We actually have quite a lot in common, which is unusual. For me, at least. I'm finding it absolutely wonderful that my uni friends watch and love Rocky Horror and read Lord of the Rings and A Song of Ice and Fire.

Got to the bus-stop, and walked down to Cineworld, only Owen couldn't quite remember where it was so we ended up going around it before actually finding it. We were about half an hour early so we just sat and poked through the What's On? catalogue things. At about 18:55, Min, Olly and Niamh arrived, so we went in to see the movie.

Haywire! It was very good, though a leetle confusing at times. It was about a woman who works for a private company doing something violent, and she is contracted by the government to save a Chinese man who had been speaking out against the government. Or something. I'm not quite sure. Anyhoo, after that she is sent to Dublin to pretend to be the wife of a British agent, but is betrayed and has to go on the run. Basically, it's an MMA fighter beating up a load of A-list celebrities. Go see!

After the film, Min, Olly and Niamh left, and me, Owen and Josh walked up to the Civic Centre to get the bus back to Highfield. We were sat on the U2B for aaaaages before it actually left, so Owen started telling us about his America trip and I finally got to tell someone that I used to live on a boat, which they both found incredibly cool. We got off near the Co-op on Burgess Road, so they could get what looked like ALL THE BEER and I could get some much-needed chocolate.

We walked to Urs and Greg's house where we proceeded to drink beer, eat chocolate, and watch an awful film called Drive Angry. One of THE worst films I have ever seen! But sometimes awful films are the best, and it was wonderfully stupid. After watching Nicholas Cage drink, smoke, fuck and shoot all at the same time, we watched a few episodes of Family Guy. Urs seems to have every TV programme imaginable on his laptop. Owen said he had five seasons of Farscape on his hard-drive, so he's going to lend them to me.

I think I might be starting to get rather attached to Owen. Okay, that's a lie. I know I am getting incredibly attached to Owen. And attached is interchangeable with attracted in this context. I feel horribly fickle after thinking that Doug is really nice and I might like to ask him out sometime, but that was before I had actually properly started to get to know Owen. Bah.

Huh.

I have noticed a distinct lack of pictures in my posts. BORING!

...


Well, I don't actually know what kind of pictures I should put up.

A-HA! I know...

Isn't he gorgeous? My friend Izzy got him for me for Christmas/my birthday (because he was pretty expensive). Proof that she is the best present-buyer EVAR. I now have three Matt Smiths staring at me in my room.

OOH! Also, my Montana flag!

...from Bit and DB. I have my Montana Sheriff's badge on RIGHT NOW, too.

Erm, what else? Oh yes! Here is a picture of Greg attacking me with a "knife" at the Kempo Christmas Closing Ceremony. Hurrah!

Well, hopefully this glut of pictures will be satisfactory for a while. I need to remember to make my posts more colourful and less depressing.

Whoopee!

Two exams down, two to go.

I had Biogeo yesterday, and then Earth & Ocean today. Both multiple choice, which was WONDERFUL. Unfortunately, it looks like multiple choice will only be around for this first year. I suppose after this we're supposed to actually properly know things off the top of our heads.

French tomorrow. My God. I am going to fail so hard. Okay, so I probably won't fail. But I will definitely not do amazingly.

Maths on Monday. I haven't done any revision yet - I'm counting on having tomorrow evening, Friday morning and evening, Saturday and Sunday (and Monday morning) to learn my shiz. It shouldn't be too bad...

Things You Wanted To Yell To The Sky Today But Didn't

I WANT SOME SEX!

Or alternatively:

SOMEONE PLEASE LOVE ME IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD!

Sorry readers.

Guh, this is pathetic. I haven't even had sex yet and I'm craving it. Is it hormones? It's probably hormones. It's always hormones. Fuckin' hormones. (Ha! Literally, in this case. Actual fucking hormones.) I've read enough porn to arouse a eunuch. Are you even allowed to be horny if you've never done the deed? AGH. *stomps around*

But it's not just about the sex, of course. I don't particularly want to go and do it with whoever grabs me first in some skanky club. (Not that they would grab me.) I want a boyfriend, I want someone who will tell me I'm funny and beautiful and laugh at the same things I laugh at and find the same things interesting that I do and YES have sex with me and kiss me and not care that I'm hairy and all that jazz because at the moment my friends can do all the laughing and finding things interesting and the reassuring me that I'm funny and pretty but they can't really fulfill those last few.

Fuck's sake. Maybe I should just leap on D next time I see him and ask him if he wants to go to the pub or something. BUT HE WON'T.

Goodness, I am a fool.

A happy fool, but a fool nonetheless.

*smacks self about the head*

Stop that, you insolent mind! Cease your witterings and desist this senseless train of thought!

I want to go home now.

I've had enough of university for this term.

Buhuhuhuhuh I still have a week left. :(

AAAAHHH CONFUSED FEELINGS

'Sup.

So, things have been happening. Not much, but they're there.

On Saturday I went to visit Grandma, which was lovely. I ordered the tickets online (The Trainline charged a £1 booking fee so I got them straight from the South-West Trains website. Yay, savings!), and went to pick them up from the station on Friday. I made sure I asked the woman at the desk where I'd have to go, because there were engineering works on the line and half of the journey would have to be by bus. I'm terrified of catching buses to or in places I don't know. With trains they tell you which stop is coming up. Buses... *shudder*. ANYWAY. I had to get up at 06:30 to leave at 06:55 to get the bus at 07:15 to get to the station for 07:33 to get the bus to Brockenhurst at 08:02 and get there at 08:33 to get the train to Wareham at 08:50 and get there at 09:43 *slumps*. On the way back I had to get a coach from Bournemouth, but by that time I was a replacement-bus-service-pro. I had a good day, though. We sat in the living room for a couple of hours and just chatted, then went out for a pub lunch and a short walk.

I got back to the Interchange and almost straight away had to go to Kate's for our pizza-and-maths session. The driver of the bus I got on, when turning onto Portswood Road, didn't turn his wheel soon enough, and got wedged behind an ambulance which was half-parked on the pavement with its hazard lights on and no-one in it. The driver sat there and honked his horn for a while, and the bus was sticking out into the middle of the junction, so was blocking up all the cars which wanted to turn right behind it. A few cars who wanted to go down the street the bus was blocking up started honking their horns, which really didn't help. After about 10 minutes a woman from the pub on the corner came out and stood in the middle of the junction to stop the traffic so the bus driver could reverse and try again.

Finally got to Gateley, and Kate, Becca, Ross and Mat were already there. We did about 10 minutes of Maths, 15 minutes deciding how we were going to sort out the pizzas, 5 minutes trying to order them on Mat's temperamental phone, then half an hour going to collect them. Not much Maths got done, unsuprisingly. After that we went back to South Hill because Ross and Becca were going out with their flats and invited us along. Me, Kate and Mat felt hugely out of place because everyone else knew each other and were getting drunk, but we had no alcohol with us. We ended up making a little man out of bottle foil and telling stupid jokes to one another.

When we had to leave, me, Kate, Mat and Becca decided we weren't going to go to Jesters (a competitor for the Skankiest Club In Europe) so went back to Kate's and watched a movie instead. Unfortunately, Kate only has mostly horror movies, which wasn't great. We ended up watching Severance, which was supposed to be a comedy horror. It was funny in places, but that was kind of ruined by the fact that I spent most of it hugging my knees and covering my eyes and ears. I do not cope well with horror movies. Gore is usually fine, but all the stalking through the forest and chases and URGH.

Sweet thing: on the way down Glen Eyre Road, Kate, Becca and I ended up talking about boys and how none of us have ever had a boyfriend. Mat was very taken aback and formally apologised for his gender. N'awww. He's almost painfully gentlemanly sometimes.

After the movie, at about 01:30, Becca, Mat and I walked back to Highfield Halls. Me and Becca were dressed for going out, so we were freezing. It was really foggy too, which made it very eerie. We got a taxi from Highfield back to South Hill after dropping Mat off. I went on G+ for about half an hour, so went to bed at about 03:00.

I then had to get up at 09:00 for my last 3 diving lectures. Luckily they only took 3 hours this time, not like the 6 hours for 4 lectures last time. Sat next to Doug again, only we didn't have a lunch break to talk in this time... After that I came home and vegged about for a while. I was going to do my washing, but I didn't have any change. I'm not sure if I did any work. I can't remember. At 19:30 I met Becca to go down to the Union to meet Mat and Tania to see Captain America. My goodness, that film is hilarious. Ahhh.

Not much happened today. Went to Maths (on the way I asked Kathryn if she wanted to live with me and Kate next year [we decided we were going to live together on Saturday] and she said yes), went to the Café, went to the tutorial, went home, did Maths. In the Café I was talking quietly with Kate about whether we should ask Mat if he wants to live with us, because he'd been saying that he has no idea what he's doing next year, and she said she didn't know if he'd want to and it might be a bit weird. I did agree with her, but I'm not entirely sure why. Ah well. She's asked two geologists, Ed (who I don't know) and Lizzie (who I kind of know), too. Lizzie said yes, Ed is a maybe. We shall see!

Had a lovely Kempo session today. Very relaxed, mostly just focusing on stretching and flexibility. For the last 15 minutes we gave each other special Kempo massages, and a few times people poked their heads in the door and looked at us strangely. Went to the pub afterwards and got given little tasters of this delicious cider - Rekorderlig Winter Cider. I got a bottle. I may have to buy it regularly from now on.