Kill me now.

We went out last night for Niki and Callum's pyjama/onesie party. Long story short: I got horribly drunk and ended up kissing some random guy who grabbed my waist. It was pretty gross, and completely ruined my first kiss (though the VSers have reassured me that I can write it off - it didn't count because I was drunk and it was gross). I'm now paranoid that everyone thinks I'm someone who goes around kissing anyone they meet and gets drunk all the time. That's the first time they've seen me drunk, too, which kind of makes it worse.

"i kinda like you. please like me back."

My God. I just stopped typing because I was distracted by the thought of your smile. That's a bit... Well. Oh dear. Fuck, I'm pathetic.

Dear God, but it is a gorgeous smile.

Fuck, I'm Hungry

I haven't eaten properly for days. And I'm feeling too lazy to go to Sainsbury's and stock up. I will have to do that after Maths, as well as do my washing and cook a pasta bake to sustain me for a while. I'm going to go and cook tortellini RIGHT NOW because my stomach has been angry at me all day.

I also need to go to training more than freaking once a week after exams. I should go to all of them, though probably not the Saturday morning session. Too much!

Cinemaaaaa

Yesterday evening I went to the cinema with the Kempo folks. I met Josh outside Hartley and we walked down to the interchange to meet Owen, because we had no idea where Cineworld was. I'm really glad I'm doing more with them, like movie nights and actually going to the pub after training, because although I'm pretty sure I'm The One Nobody Wants To Get Lumped With in training, they're still all very nice and funny and like the same sorts of things and don't make me feel inadequate. (Well, apart from Dimitris. He talks to me but he makes it pretty clear that he gets incredibly frustrated with me when I can't do a technique and will avoid being partnered with me at all costs.)

Anyway, we got on the bus and it took about half an hour to get down to the green just across the road from the entrance to Dock Gate 4. Very nice bus journey, with good conversation. Lots of movie talk, and they discovered that I haven't seen Alien so there are plans for a rectifying movie night. We actually have quite a lot in common, which is unusual. For me, at least. I'm finding it absolutely wonderful that my uni friends watch and love Rocky Horror and read Lord of the Rings and A Song of Ice and Fire.

Got to the bus-stop, and walked down to Cineworld, only Owen couldn't quite remember where it was so we ended up going around it before actually finding it. We were about half an hour early so we just sat and poked through the What's On? catalogue things. At about 18:55, Min, Olly and Niamh arrived, so we went in to see the movie.

Haywire! It was very good, though a leetle confusing at times. It was about a woman who works for a private company doing something violent, and she is contracted by the government to save a Chinese man who had been speaking out against the government. Or something. I'm not quite sure. Anyhoo, after that she is sent to Dublin to pretend to be the wife of a British agent, but is betrayed and has to go on the run. Basically, it's an MMA fighter beating up a load of A-list celebrities. Go see!

After the film, Min, Olly and Niamh left, and me, Owen and Josh walked up to the Civic Centre to get the bus back to Highfield. We were sat on the U2B for aaaaages before it actually left, so Owen started telling us about his America trip and I finally got to tell someone that I used to live on a boat, which they both found incredibly cool. We got off near the Co-op on Burgess Road, so they could get what looked like ALL THE BEER and I could get some much-needed chocolate.

We walked to Urs and Greg's house where we proceeded to drink beer, eat chocolate, and watch an awful film called Drive Angry. One of THE worst films I have ever seen! But sometimes awful films are the best, and it was wonderfully stupid. After watching Nicholas Cage drink, smoke, fuck and shoot all at the same time, we watched a few episodes of Family Guy. Urs seems to have every TV programme imaginable on his laptop. Owen said he had five seasons of Farscape on his hard-drive, so he's going to lend them to me.

I think I might be starting to get rather attached to Owen. Okay, that's a lie. I know I am getting incredibly attached to Owen. And attached is interchangeable with attracted in this context. I feel horribly fickle after thinking that Doug is really nice and I might like to ask him out sometime, but that was before I had actually properly started to get to know Owen. Bah.

Huh.

I have noticed a distinct lack of pictures in my posts. BORING!

...


Well, I don't actually know what kind of pictures I should put up.

A-HA! I know...

Isn't he gorgeous? My friend Izzy got him for me for Christmas/my birthday (because he was pretty expensive). Proof that she is the best present-buyer EVAR. I now have three Matt Smiths staring at me in my room.

OOH! Also, my Montana flag!

...from Bit and DB. I have my Montana Sheriff's badge on RIGHT NOW, too.

Erm, what else? Oh yes! Here is a picture of Greg attacking me with a "knife" at the Kempo Christmas Closing Ceremony. Hurrah!

Well, hopefully this glut of pictures will be satisfactory for a while. I need to remember to make my posts more colourful and less depressing.

Whoopee!

Two exams down, two to go.

I had Biogeo yesterday, and then Earth & Ocean today. Both multiple choice, which was WONDERFUL. Unfortunately, it looks like multiple choice will only be around for this first year. I suppose after this we're supposed to actually properly know things off the top of our heads.

French tomorrow. My God. I am going to fail so hard. Okay, so I probably won't fail. But I will definitely not do amazingly.

Maths on Monday. I haven't done any revision yet - I'm counting on having tomorrow evening, Friday morning and evening, Saturday and Sunday (and Monday morning) to learn my shiz. It shouldn't be too bad...

Things You Wanted To Yell To The Sky Today But Didn't

I WANT SOME SEX!

Or alternatively:

SOMEONE PLEASE LOVE ME IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD!

Sorry readers.

Guh, this is pathetic. I haven't even had sex yet and I'm craving it. Is it hormones? It's probably hormones. It's always hormones. Fuckin' hormones. (Ha! Literally, in this case. Actual fucking hormones.) I've read enough porn to arouse a eunuch. Are you even allowed to be horny if you've never done the deed? AGH. *stomps around*

But it's not just about the sex, of course. I don't particularly want to go and do it with whoever grabs me first in some skanky club. (Not that they would grab me.) I want a boyfriend, I want someone who will tell me I'm funny and beautiful and laugh at the same things I laugh at and find the same things interesting that I do and YES have sex with me and kiss me and not care that I'm hairy and all that jazz because at the moment my friends can do all the laughing and finding things interesting and the reassuring me that I'm funny and pretty but they can't really fulfill those last few.

Fuck's sake. Maybe I should just leap on D next time I see him and ask him if he wants to go to the pub or something. BUT HE WON'T.

Goodness, I am a fool.

A happy fool, but a fool nonetheless.

*smacks self about the head*

Stop that, you insolent mind! Cease your witterings and desist this senseless train of thought!

I want to go home now.

I've had enough of university for this term.

Buhuhuhuhuh I still have a week left. :(

AAAAHHH CONFUSED FEELINGS